Ramadan Day 12: Al Baqarah 17
September 2, 2009 at 5:54 pm | In Al Huda Institute, Desert life, Family, Homeschooling, New Mexico, Quran, Ramadan | Leave a Comment |
| 17: |
| Muhsin Khan: Their likeness is as the likeness of one who kindled a fire; then, when it lighted all around him, Allah took away their light and left them in darkness. (So) they could not see. |
It was a good morning Alhamdulillah. No need for negative behaviors and not much presented walhamdulillah. I had actually gone over these ayah up to this point and the next one, months earlier, when, on a whim of need, I decided to have them all read the same surah to me in turns instead of them reading their own surah at their own pace. This was when I was also teaching 4 other kids individually almost everyday, on top of another group of 4 girls an hour before Sunday school, and Sunday school itself, not to mention that I am also attending my taleem class 8 hours per week. I felt like I was abandoning my own kids because by the time I was done with those 4 kids, I had no time nor patience left to work with my own kids, so they’re always put on the back burner.
One night, as we were driving back from El Paso, from our then weekly Divine Link with Sh Yaser, we were greeted by a succession of lightnings in the foreground. I have never seen lightnings like those in C-bus, and it’s truly humbling to see them, as the horizon is very clear here in Texas and New Mexico. When the lightnings appeared, they illuminated the dark sky such that for a flash, it looked like it was day. Subhanallah. Further up ahead, as we neared home, torrents of rain fell upon us, but as we watched the lighning, I took that moment as an opportunity to rehash what I had talked to them about Al Baqarah ayat 19 & 20. I guess you can call it a ‘hands-on’ moment.
 |
| 19: |
| Muhsin Khan: Or like a rainstorm from the sky, wherein is darkness, thunder, and lightning. They thrust their fingers in their ears to keep out the stunning thunderclap for fear of death. But Allah ever encompasses the disbelievers (i.e. Allah will gather them all together). |
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| 20: |
| Muhsin Khan: The lightning almost snatches away their sight, whenever it flashes for them, they walk therein, and when darkness covers them, they stand still. And if Allah willed, He could have taken away their hearing and their sight. Certainly, Allah has power over all things. |
Today’s ayah is the first ayah (starting from the beginning of the Quran) where Allah gives analogies to make us reflect and understand. Each of the three groups mentioned in the beginning of the surah are described; the hypocrites bearing the most elaborate descriptions.
I had told the kids yesterday a hint: that when a word has seen and ta added to it, it gives the meaning of ‘to seek’, and here, in this ayah, the word istawqada means to kindle. In the tafseer in class, we were given an example of how if you are cold, and your room has a heater, and you want to turn it on, there are two ways to do it. You either turn it on yourself, or you ask someone to turn it on for you, but either way, you are seeking ‘to kindle’. The root is wau qaf dal, wuqud meaning fuel.
I described to them the 3 types of stoves my grandmother used when I was growing up, and this led to talk about making rendang. Oh how I wish I can make rendang with an open fire like how it is done traditionally in Malaysia, but with the dry weather here, I don’t think the law permits open fire, due to the risk of wildfire. I do remember a Malaysian sister making rendang this way in Iowa though. Oh how I miss the midwest.
We also learned how Noor is just a bright light not associated with heat, but Naar if fire, and it includes both light and heat.
We learned that the word zhahaba means to go away, but it is also used for gold, because in general, people are afraid of their gold being taken away, and also, in zakah, you have to give some portion of the value of your gold away.
And we related it to the dua for breakingthe fast too. Alhamdulillah!
Why plural for darknesses and singular for light?
I posed this question to them, and S answered,
Because Nuur is Islam.
Darknesses refer to the sins, many different kinds of shirk.
And today brought an extra lesson for us. I told the kids not to draw people or animals, and they resorted to drawing ’shapes’ with limbs and mouths.
I told them about the Jews’ Sabbath, where they were trying to ‘get around’ the command of not fishing on Saturday. And I gave them an alternative,
“Just draw the talk bubbles and the landscape.”
They were also recently watching Asmaul Husna on Youtube, the one with beautiful khatt. And I suggested they do that instead of drawing animate beings. So far, they have tried, but it’s quite something to master.
Welcome to Texas! Part II
August 5, 2009 at 10:09 pm | In Desert life, Family, New Mexico, Siblings, Thoughts, Travel | Leave a Comment
The moment hubby revved up the engine and started driving after praying Fajr with the kids at th rest area which we had stopped at for the night, I sought a comfortable position and fell right asleep. Nothing like a moving vehicle to rock me to sleep. However, I soon woke up to find ourselves at another rest area. Hubby killed the engine and went to sleep. I turned around and saw the kids all still fast asleep. The sky was illuminated by the freshly risen sun, and to my right, I heard the flushing of toilets. Then a lady janitor came out. For a while I contemplated getting out of the van to go to the restroom, since all the toilets at the other rest area were too filthy. But I was too overcome with sleepiness that I continued sleeping (yes, despite the lack of movement) and after about an hour or more, hubby resumed driving.
When I did wake up, it was to a wonderful scenery. There were rolling hills to the right and left of us. Green. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. The first few times that I did open my eyes, I remember seeing the green backed up by the morning sky, but I had fallen right back to sleep. It was later on that I was able to stay awake and appreciate the green we were driving by. If I had had amnesia, I would have thought we were back in the midwest! It was very welcoming and beautiful. It was a nice change from the desert. It was what I have been craving all these months. It lifted my spirits. All my stress were strewn about in the desert back home. I guess I needed the rejuvenation from the greenery. And the cliffs, they were beautiful. The layers of sedimentary rock looked like cake layers to me. Subhanallah…
I asked the kids,
“What kind of rock is this?”
H was the one who answered. he didn’t exactly remember the term, but merely said something like,
“Semi something,”
We had calculated our arrival in Houston and expected to be there around 10 a.m., but we encountered some traffic as hubby followed Google map’s directions and recalculated our arrival to be around jumuah time. I was bothered by our state of cleanliness and badly wished we could take a shower. Lo and behold, subhanallah, Allah handed us the opportunity when we stopped for gas. It was a Chevron, a travel plaza. While hubby filled in the gas tank, I asked him,
“Do they have showers here?”
“I don’t know, try and ask.”
I went in the plaza and headed for the restroom where the girls were already brushing their teeth. I wanted to do more than brush my teeth!
“S, come with me. I want to see if they have showers here.”
Right across the hallway, indeed I saw a sign saying ‘Showers’, but as I tried each door, they were all locked. So I went up to the cashier and asked the lady if they were locked because they’re occupied or if it’s because we have to pay.
It turned out to be 5 dollars, so I went back to hubby and told him. he paid for it, got a towel, two small soaps and the huge key to the shower. Surprisingly, the shower stall was quite clean. All of us showered, including Baby Z. My spirits were further lifted as I put on a change of abaya and hijab, and socks. I was ready to meet my sisters in Houston.
Well, who would have known that we were to encounter another set of downpours as we went into Houston? We drove through sheets and sheets of rain as we neared Houston, and with that, came bad traffic. had trouble finding the hotel too, mostly because I gave hubby the wrong direction. So he missed the Friday prayer, but when we got there, I met a sister from C-Bus I did not expect to see at Ilmsummit.
It was a beautiful reunion, at least I think so. I felt completely at home somehow amidst all these sisters, some of whom I have known from before, and some of whom I don’t know. K, even got to introducing me to her roommate, our Taleem tafseer teacher, subhanallah! I sat in, with permission which K asked for, in one of the sessions. As we were leaving the hotel to go to Id’s place, who did we bump into other than Sh Yaser?
We were going down the steps, heading towards the van parked in the open parking lot, me and the kids first and hubby behind me. It was then that I noticed a car stopping by us, and I happened to look and saw Sh Yaser looking at hubby and waving at him. I stopped and told pointed Sh Yaser out to hubby, who probably already saw him anyway.
Sh Yaser stopped and talked to hubby while I waited with the girls. Baby Z was ready to go to the van, and so was H. I called out to H to go and shake Sh Yaser’s hand, and he hesitated. Sh Yaser then turned to look at him and said,
“Oh, come on!”
So H went, and then to my utmost surprise, little Baby Z started walking past me, towards Sh. Yaser. In no time, he was by Sh. Yaser’s side, just standing there and waiting.
When Sh Yaser realized he was there, he turned to Baby Z and took his hand and kissed it.This little toddler is so unpredictable. One moment he can be so reserved and shy, and another moment, he can be so bold as to walk up to the a person waiitng to shake his hand. Or maybe, he just recognized Sh Yaser from our weekly class in El Paso. Whatever it is, alhamdulillah!
“Welcome to Texas,” was what Sh Yaser said to us.
That was another highlight of our visit to Houston, I must say. Having Sh Yaser moved away from El Paso is such a devastation to me. I already miss him even thugh we don’t live in El Paso. El Paso is not the same without him there.
The next highlight of that trip is my reunion with my college friend whom I have not met for seven years. The last time I saw her, she had only one child, same age as my H, and we were both visiting Malaysia at the time. Since then, she had had more babies, and the three that I have have grown, with the addition of two more, one living. We stayed at Id’s house for the rest of the our stay in Houston. They had just moved back to Houston from Alaska and she has not finished unpacking her boxes. I felt bad staying at her house considering she is pregnant with the fifth child, the oldest being H’s age, and they had just moved in the house about one week ago. But as K told me at the hotel earlier, when I told her of my dilemma,
“Oh, don’t act like a guest. You just help her!”
That’s the Somali spirit! Mashaallah!
Saturday night's dinner - Mee Sop, and beautiful pitcher of Air Bandung
Our kids bonded, and our husbands looked alike, with different ‘progressions’(hubby’s word, not mine) in their male pattern baldness. It was a nice sitting with an old friend and chatting face to face after spending hours on the phone all these years, much to our husbands kind understanding.
Air Bandung. I just loved the color!
We met a couple other families, one of which was with us in Iowa, and also my high school senior. On Saturday, we went again to the Crowne Plaza and this time, I brought Id along. I was hoping to catch Sh Yaser’s session on fasting, but didn’t. However we did manage to sit in on the khatirah after Zuhr done by a sister, which was later critiqued by Sh Yaser. I was content. We left Ilmsummit.
Love the jug too!
I got to meet who I wanted to see and even more alhamdulillah. A little of my heartache in missing C-bus was soothed. To top it off, I even got my hands on Na’ima Roberts’ From My Sisters’ Lips on Friday. Good thing I got it that Friday, because on Saturday, when we scoured Darussalam’s booth, I coudln’t see it anymore. I got a couple more books though, Zaid Ibn Thabit and Uthman Ibn Affan.
I also got my hands on some Asian grocery stuff that I couldn’t find in Albuquerque; namely Kaya, lemongrass stalks, laksa, and gula jawa and serbuk kari Malaysia thanks to Id. That trip proved to be more than I expected, in a good way alhamdulillah. Baby Z had trouble sleeping the first night we were in Houston, because he wanted to sleep with S but S didn’t want him to sleep with her. Somewhow, while I was in the bathroom, Baby Z fell asleep with hubby in Iz’s room where hubby and I slept. The second night, S agreed to let baby Z sleep with her, so he slept with his big sister. All the kids played so nicely together alhamdulillah. It tickled me to see Baby Z playing with Baby Hz as they were about the same age.
My kids loved Hz, as they love babies, especially the girls. Once N said to me,
“Hz is smarter than Z, because he can speak and do some stuff.”
I laughed. Even though Baby Z is older by 4 months than Baby Hz, he is not talking yet, and N just switched to the other side, in favor of Baby Hz. I have never thought of how Baby Z’s lack of speech may have impacted the kids. I remember telling S way back, when I was still pregnant,
“Next year, when you are done with your test, the baby will already be walking and saying ‘Na na’”
Subhanallah, how great is Allah’s Wisdom and planning. I would have expected the baby (Baby Z) to be talking by now, but, Allah has other plans for him. That, is truly humbling.
Sunday morning, K T invited us over to her house for brunch. Subhanallah, Houston is truly filled with utter hospitality, from Qabeelat Hosna to the Malaysians living there. The last time we went to Houston, K T’s family showered us with their hospitality, and this time, even thuogh we didn’t stay at their house, they still managed to embrace us with their hospitality.
K R, my senior and fellow temporary Iowan residents, also did the same. We left Houston that Sunday, around 2 pm (later than we had planned) with home cooked food, packed lovingly by K T and K R. Last time, we also left Houston with K T’s food. May Allah reward them all with immense goodness. Ameen.
We drove back home without stopping to sleep, because hubby had to work the next day. I had expected to drive whie he slept part of the way, but when I asked, he said no. So, he drove all the way back, not without sleepiness though. We passed San Antonio, this time, on the highway. It was beautiful. As we passed it, hubby asked H,
“Do you think it’s Asr yet? How can you tell?”
It was time to practice what Sh Yaser had taught us. And H remembered it.
Double the shadow of the object, plus the excess length. We stopped for gas in a little town just as the sun was about to set, in time too, because the fuel tank indicator was almost at E. Hubby and the kids prayed at a parking lot behind the gas station.
The rest of the night was hard on hubby. Despite that, he still refuses to hand over the wheels to me. But then again, I’m not good behind the wheel at night anyway. It felt like ages before we even reached El Paso. Hubby kept saying,
“Where is the downtown? We’re not even there yet.”
On the way to Houston, we passed by the border patrol. Something new we learned is that you have to bring your passports with you when travelling in New Mexico and even Texas, because of the vicinity of the border to Mexico. Since it was pouring on the way to Houston, we were waved off at the checkpoint. On the way back to New Mexico, there were no checkpoints. I have to say that driving past El Paso at night, past the downtown is amazing! On the way to Houston, I couldn’t take my eyes off Mexico. Yes, you can see Mexico. There is just something about seeing the lights spread out. I have always loved air travel, and this is one reason why I love it; you get to see towns from above, especially at night.
We got home around 2 a.m. alhamdulillah. I felt a little sad that we were home, because Houston has such great people and a great environment minus the heat and humidity, but it actually also felt good to be sleeping in our bed after the long drive. The houseplants didn’t fare too well. Before we left, we had lined them up by the staircase and watered them a lot, but somehow, the water pooled. I guess the heat didn’t really evaporate the water as I thought it would. The chilli and bell pepper on the other hand, thrived inside. I had brought them into the sunroom, well protected from arduous sunlight, and they actually looked healthy. I had planned to leave the house spotless before we left for Houston, but Thursday was so hectic that I didn’t get to carry out all of my plans, plus, we were on the verge of not going to Houston that day. If hubby hadn’t insisted, I would have probably continued sleeping and giving up on the idea of going to Houston altogether. I’m glad he insisted. Thinking back, I would have been multiply depressed had we not gone.
Sy had told hubby,
“Move to Houston.”
Hubby and I discussed the possibility, but we concluded that the possibility is pretty slim since hubby would most probably be affiliated with universities, and Houston is a great job market for engineers and computer people, not necessarily academicians. Oh well, Allah, in His Wisdom, has put us in this town. We have made istikharah. I can’t say I regret it, but I have to admit it’s a real test for mer personally at least. I accept this as a personal test for me, and as long as Allah has decreed that we stay here, I will try my best to bear it. Who knows, I may even love it here such that when we move away, I might miss it as much as I miss the other towns we have lived in. Inshaallah…
Ag Day as 4-Hers
July 23, 2009 at 1:49 am | In 4-H, Animals, Desert life, Kids, New Mexico | 1 Comment
the walk to the school grounds
I had signed whoever was interested in helping set up for Ag Day at the nearby elementary school, which was N and S. I had emailed E about it, asking her what time the girls should be there but she never replied, so even though I marked my calendar, I pretty much forgot about it.
On that day, we received H and M as usual, as their mother dropped them off around 8:30 a.m. for Iqra lessons with me. The Ag Day supposedly starts at 8 a.m. and if my girls were to help set up, they should probably have been there around 8. But it was not until 9 am that I suddenly remembered, and in a flurry of short bursts of,
“Hurry! You’re late!”
“Just go tell E she didn’t reply to my email!”
“Hurry! Get ready!”
“Just go!”
Since the school grounds is just across the arroyo from our backyard, H went out and came back inside exclaiming,
“I hear goats!”
“Ha! goats! Go!” I said.
So S and N dressed and walked to the school grounds, while the rest of us stayed finishing up the lessons.
“Let’s go, you all want to go?” I asked the kids. I still had four kids in the house (two of them were not mine).
Of course they wanted to go. So we went. It was the first time I walked to the school grounds, and oh my, what beautiful views I laid eyes on. The mountains far off in the distance. The streets lined with beautiful houses. It reminded me a lot of Damansara and Bangsar in Kuala Lumpur.
When we got there, the girls were with a group of adults and kids presenting their animals to the elementary kids enrolled in summer school. Ag Day, as i found out was designed as part of the extension office’s educational programs to the public. As the older and more seasoned 4-Hers introduced themselves and their respective animals they had brought to show, I witnessed my own child doing the same, with ease, even though she had no animal to show.
I stood behind them, and watched my firstborn introduce herself to the bunch of kids crowded around them. Well, well!
When I told them to go and hurry and get ready earlier, they were not too enthusiastic. Yet again, ‘Just listen to your mother’ proved true. They loved it.
“So what did you do when you got there?”
“We helped gave out the treat bags to the kids,” said N.
As there were excess, H, M, H, and Baby Z got treat bags too. Baby Z got to pet the duck, the rabbit, which I practically fell in love with such that I said to the kids,
“If we’re getting a pet, it will be a rabbit!”
the donkey named Spur, and the horse named Jesse.
We stayed at the playground for a bit while the kids enjoyed themselves on the swing. I was utterly captivated by the many hummingbirds buzzing past us. I tried to snap some pictures, but they were too quick. Subhanallah!
If I have to say one thing about living in New Mexico, it’s that it really brings you very close to Allah’s creations in a way you don’t get to in a city. Alhamdulillah!
Murtabak and Rainbows
July 6, 2009 at 11:30 pm | In Desert life, Family, Kitchen, New Mexico | 3 CommentsI would have never even thought of attempting to make this food item years ago. Too complicated. But after trying making roti canai, I have been entertaining the thought of attempting to make Murtabak, a food item that I love to eat with the vinegar/onion dip. I didn’t make the dip though, because as it was, I was already too exhausted from making the sheets for all the murtabak and roti telur we made.
The ground beef filling plopped on the thickest part of the stretched ball of dough
Last Friday was a holiday preceding the 4th of July. I planned for this Murtabak weekend days before, because it required some planning, seeing as how we were also going out. On Saturday we went to El Paso Outlets to get the girls some new needed shoes and soe zabiha chicken and meat because we were running low on them. We also managed to run to the Farmer’s market early in the morn to get some Japanese eggplants. We had also thawed the goat that hubby had bought (or was gifted actually) from Albuquerque. So there was a lot of work to do after we got back from El Paso. Hubby did the goat before he went to play soccer. I made the murtabak filling (ground beef), two different recipes of roti canai dough and continued hubby’s unfinished goat cutting. I was wiped out by night time.
H's the murtabak fryer
The next morning, as soon as Baby Z woke up, we went to Young Park for our tennis Sunday, and even strolled in the park at the pond, watching ducks. It was a really nice park. Kids can fish at the pond too. I tried on S’ rollerblades and realized that months of no rollerblading has made me very wobbly and screamy on it. I need more practice.
When we got home, I showered and set out to make the murtabak. It took two grueling hours to be done with all the dough balls I had submerged in oil from the night before. H was in charge of the frying. While I pressed, thinned, stretched, and gingerly wrapped each heap of ground beef filling with the roti canai sheet, H fried the murtabaks. As soon as he took one out of the pan, he’d call out to me and I would go to the kitchen with a wrapped murtabak held gingerly in my two palms, dripping oil on the floor along the way. It was messy work, but the murtabak were turning out so nicely (I hadn’t vouched on them turning out so nicely since I didn’t really think I could do it) that the exhaustion was worth it.
I used my mother’s roti canai dough recipe, but for some reason the dough balls were tough and gritty. I must have mixed it wrong the other night. The other recipe I used though, the one that I used in my first attempt to make roti canai, worked out beautifully. It was such a pleasure to stretch it.
That was our lunch, and for Baby Z, it was white rice, and the goat I had cooked the night before. We only had less than half an hour after all that work to get ready to go the masjid because the girls had Arabic class in which they have to submit their homework of writing a short essay of ‘What I do every morning’. Reminded me of ‘inshaa”‘ in secondary school.
The rest of Sunday was sent inside the house while it poured outside. I welcome thunder and rain here. Can’t believe how happy the sound of thunder makes me feel, subhanallah. It really cool things down.
As the girls were in their room, hubby napping upstairs, and I lounged on the couch in between trying to nap and also working on the kids Ramadan activities, I heard H suddenly dash to his sisters’ room saying,
“Come! Come! Look at this. It’s so cool! Meet me in the backyard!”
I have to say it peaked my curiosity and even though I was trying to have some shut eye, I got up and fed my curiosity.
A beautiful full rainbow adorned the blue sky. It was still slightly drizzling, and the sun was descending, getting ready to set in a few hours. It was magnificent, subhaanallah. H, Baby Z, and I stood in the backyard, in the drizzle, looking at it and taking pictures. There was also a second faint rainbow, a double rainbow. Just breathtaking…Allahu Akbar!
It would have been nice if that was how our Sunday ended, but unfortunately we had been lounging to much that afternoon that by maghrib, the kitchen hadn’t yet been cleaned as it usually is, so cleaning took place between Maghrib and Isha with a grumpy mom leading the way. But in all, it was a great weekend, alhamdulillah, one of murtabak and rainbows.
Resuming Tennis Sundays
July 2, 2009 at 8:14 pm | In Community, Desert life, Family, New Mexico, Sports | 1 Comment
Alhamdulilah, after going to countless garage sales, in which we stumbled upon tennis racquets, we are able to resume our Tennis Sundays. I had noticed a lack of tennis courts here in town, and asked around. One Sunday morning, while the kids were still sleeping, we checked out a court nearby, that hubby learned about through a brother. It had a playground nearby and that Sunday, we I guess, officially resumed our Tennis Sundays after the move. I have to say I still miss Whetstone Park though.
One of my Quran students told me of another park, Young Park, that also has tennis courts. For a couple of Sundays now, we have been going to that park, which is definitely bigger and better. While hubby and I played tennis, the kids played at the playground, rollerbladed, and played tennis on the other court. All the times we have had our Tennis Sundays, it has been quite late, because we waited for Baby Z to wake up. By 8 or 9 am, it’s already hot here, though we still played till well past 10 sometimes. 
Since Sunday school has been pushed back to 3 pm now, I have a little more time between tennis and Sunday School, alhamdulillah. Though it is still hectic the past few Sundays because the community had potlucks, so I ended up exhausted one particular Sunday because tennis was followed by being in the kitchen all the way till we had to go to Sunday School. There is definitely no dearths of potlucks in this community, alhamdulillah, but I can honestly do with less of them, just to save myself some energy.
Last Sunday, after tennis, I told hubby,
“Let’s go check out the river. Sy says it’s nice.”
So we drove around looking for the Rio Grande, but ended up on the wrong side of town. I called Sy and asked here where the river was, and before long, we were there. It was huge. Though I have to say I foolishly imagined it to be more clean and pristine. Like those in pictures or paintings. Wishful thinking. The park nearby was nice too, though the river is a little bit out of our way. I noticed a bike trail there too. The kids clumbed a tree for a few minutes, and then we went home.
It was a restful Sunday alhamdulillah. No rushing to get ready for Sunday School or frantic cooking and worrying about potlucks. I wish there are more Sundays like that.
Missing the Green and Maybe Something More…
June 19, 2009 at 3:38 am | In Community, Desert life, Family, New Mexico, Thoughts, Touching | Leave a Comment
Take my hand lil bro, and let's run through this life- giving element together!
Ahhh…summer and sprinklers. The two should be synonymous, especially here in the scorching desert. Last weekend, we went to the outlets en route to El Paso to return a Kitchen Aid blender we had bought during the Memorial Day weekend. I was crestfallen upon opening the box with excitement only to discover that the container is plastic, and not glass. It was a refurbished blender, so we got it for a good price, but thinking of PCB and its effects, and in my endeavor to avoid plastic, I decided to return it, despite being quite desprate for a second blender that will be exclusively for smoothies and non onion, spices, chilli ingredients. Alas, the avocados lying in wait to be made into the Indonesian Pokat went to waste.
On the Memorial Day Weekend, I took reprieve from teaching Sunday School, and excused myself to go and finally do some shopping for the house. Ever since we moved here, we have never had a proper opportunity to shop during the weekends, because I immediately started teaching Sunday school on the second or third week after the move. Life from thereon was very hectic, as I was also teaching on the side. Alhamdulillah though, for the opportunities to bank some deeds for my akhirah.
The sky that hot day...a calming blue.
Hubby, Baby Z and I drove to the outlet, leaving the 3 kids at Sunday school and with the help of a sister who picked them up and dropped them off. It was my first time at the outlet, after seeing it only from a distance from the highway each time we drive to El Paso. It was hot, crowded, and did I mention…hot? It was hot!
No green, except for very few. I didn’t know what it was, but I was suddenly transported back to the East Coast, the Midwest, and 2004. The outlet we had gone to in Pennsylvania, nestled amidts the rolling hills and generous green valleys suddenly flooded my mind. And as I strolled along the rows of stores at the outlet in El Paso, I couldn’t help but notice how barren it was. I remembered the outlet en route to Michigan, one summer in 2004, which we had visited when I was pregnant with J. The baby clothes we had bought there, we hung in my closet. The day that we visited that outlet, there weren’t many people. It felt almost …deserted. And that feeling accompanied what was to follow. On the day that we came home after being told that there was no heartbeat, I remember rummaging through my closet looking for those baby clothes. They were gone. Hubby had taken them and hid them, for fear of me finding them and getting more grieved.
And all of a sudden, it all came back to me. Tears spilled out, as if it had just happened yesterday. I couldn’t believe I could still produce those tears for J. But I did. Now, I am reminded of a friend’s statement regarding me leaving behind J in Columbus. When she said it, I never thought it a big deal, but maybe, maybe it’s in my subconscious. Maybe, it’s making its presence dominant amidst all my missing good ole Columbus. My friends, our life there, our memories, all triggered by a visit to the outlet in the desert. It sounds absurd, yet it made perfect sense.
Ever since we moved here, my life has been put somewhat on a fast forward, which is both a boon and a curse. A boon because it distracts me from moping, and a curse because it didn’t give me a chance to gradually ease into the moving process. However, the moping process soon caught up nonetheless. I used to welcome the community potlucks, but after a while, I began to dread them, because preparing something for it, while having to teach at Sunday school was no easy feat. I need a break so I can cook for and with pleasure again. There were so many things swimming around in my head and heart, that I think they manifested themselves profoundly in my Facebook statuses. One common factor: I miss Columbus. That’s not to say I abhor LC, but it is just in my nature to have some problems adjusting to a new place everytime we moved. Melancholy may very well be my submerged middle name.
the position he took and maintained
Back to the outlet. Well, we went there a second time with all the kids this time. It was still hot. The first time we went, we had placed Baby Z right in the midst of the the interactive fountains, and he had stood as still as he could, apparently not taking pleasure in the experience. I had said to hubby,
“Maybe if the kids are here, he’d enjoy it.”
I remember one visit we had to OSU hospital, after which we stopped by the fountain, and the kids all had played in it, yes, Baby Z included. He even protested when it was time to go home. And now, we put him right in the middle of the fountain in the heat, and he stood as passively as he could.
So the second time we went, I thought Baby Z woud act differently. Well, he didn’t. He did the same thing, that frame after frames of the photos I took looked like the same snapshots. H got drenched though, and after some hesitation, N plunged in too. S, remained on the sidelines.
All in all, it was an enjoyable experience with all the kids. Alhamdulillah. Though I still miss the midwest and the east coast, and the fact that hubby is flying to Washington D.C. this weekend for a whole week, without us, just makes it even more unbearable. Oh well…the water has receded, the fountains have stopped. It’s about time I stop moping as well.
The end
A Desert Hike
June 15, 2009 at 6:55 pm | In Animals, Desert life, Family, New Mexico | Leave a Comment
walking down the arroyo
I never thought I was crazy or adventurous enough to actually do this, but I guess my curiosity overcame everything. I had offered,
“If anybody is staying in the van, I am,”
when hubby said,
“I’ll stay in the van,”
because Baby Z was fast asleep when we got to Baylor’s Pass, the base of the Organ mountains, for the group desert hike with the naturalist of the Natural History Museum as part of the 4 week Scaly Slimy program.
He then decided to carry sleeping Baby Z on the hike, so I blew my chance of staying safely in the van, out of reach of possible rattling rattlesnakes.
The Organ Mountains
The view of the Organ Mountains up close was truly breathtaking though. I couldn’t help but look at them, discerning my favorite peaks (as I call them) from the others. I’m not a camper, but I can’t lie and say I didn’t think about hiking up that mountain, just to see what is up there and how it feels like. As I brought my gaze back down, I was reminded of the notorious rattlesnakes, and I was brought back down to earth.
If it was Europe, maybe I will. But here, in the desert? No way!
Despite the sun bearing down on us directly, with very minimal clouds barring the rays, it was pleasantly breezy. Countless times I wished we were in Europe, where it was greener, and there is probably no rattlesnakes around.
I wore my ’sport skirt’ and throughout the hike, I came to realize that the desert is really not a place for long sweeping skirts. My skirt became a broom that collected goat heads and other stickler plants. Nevertheless, in my fear of being left behind throughout the hike, I made sure I stayed close to hubby, who of course had long strides, but I doubled my pace to catch up. My utmost fear was stepping on a rattlesnake. All the while, my mind kept conjuring snakes under my feet, and it took quite a lot for me to hold my ‘possible screams’ in check.
The slightest move to the right or left sent me into a swirl of panic, and I kept reciting the dua, all the while also, thinking how crazy I was to embark on such an adventure in the first place.
“Rattlesnake!”
The kids, all three of them, we immediate followers of Ch, the Museum naturalist leading the hike. Before we started the hike, Ch had give us all a run down, and among the things he said to us was,
“If you see a snake, any snake, stay still, or back away very slowly, and shout for me, try to get my attention, and I will take care of it.”
Add his apparent enthusiasm for actually hoping to find snakes, and that really gave me second thoughts about going on the hike altogether. I ekpt thinking ambulance, ER, and so my dua recitation was very fervent and continuous.
We closely followed his path, and since he had shouted ‘Rattlesnake!’ up ahead, I was rest assured that the path we were hiking through to get to where he was (and the kids were already there with him) had no rattlesnakes. Up till then, I have never heard the rattling of rattlesnakes, save for a recording of it at the museum.
As we approached Ch and the kids, who were already gathered around the rattling snake, I heard the rattle. It was clear. You can’t not hear it. Alhamdulillah for that. Though, as we hiked on further later on, I asked Ch,
“Do they rattle necessarily?”
“Well, sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t.”
The latter alarmed me. At least, if they rattle, we would be duly warned.
I saw my first real live not-behind-glass rattlesnake that day. It was a young rattlesnake, a western diamondback rattlesnake, which blended so well in the desert ground, that were it to not rattle, you’d be in a lot of trouble. The snake was coiled, head up, and tail up, rattling away at us. The kids let out their oohs and aahs, and we adults looked on with equal interest. At one point, Ch tried to pick up the snake with his snake stick,
but unfortunately the snake slithered off and headed towards us. H was right in front of me, and while the rest of us backed away in alarm, H stood still, as if frozen. We called out to him, and even had to nudge him to make him move. I don’t know if he was frozen out of fear or he was just trying to be macho. I’m thinking it’s the latter.
Hubby remarked,
“The snake moved pretty quickly.”
and my train of thought continued,
Too quick for comfort!
That was our first animal encounter. Sounds like a Jeff Corwin right there. We continued hiking, and to my horror, we actually hiked down an arroyo, where lizards and rattlesnakes are known to reside, or at least I thought so. I wasn’t too comfortable doing it, but since everybody was doing it, I didn’t want to be the only one walking on unchartered grounds, so I hiked down the arroyo too.
Beautiful desert flowers greeted me, and I couldn’t help but stop and get my camera out, even if that meant I would be left behind a bit. After trekking ’safely’, my sense of fear somewhat decreased. As I remember it (this was a while ago, in April), our second encounter was upon a horned lizard, which hubby actually spotted. 
I was closely following his long strides, when he suddenly stopped and pointed to something on our right. He shouted out to get Ch’s attention, and when Ch realized that we found something, he bounded over as quickly as he could. I was not too happy about it. Having someone way ahead of me chancing upon a live desert animal was something, and chancing upon a desert animal oneself is something else. I could feel a scream making its way up my throat.
It wasn’t a snake though, alhamdulillah, but it looked quite menacing to me nonetheless. It was pretty still, that is until Ch got to it and attempted to grab it. As quick as a dart, it whizzed past me, forcing a somewhat controlled scream from me, as I sought shelter with hubby who was carrying Baby Z. Amazingly, Ch caught it with his bare hands.
Kids petting the Horned Lizard
It was a horned lizard. And after Ch explained about it to us, and had the kids pet it, it didn’t look quite as menacing as it did before. It actually looked cute.
We spotted a few more lizards, but Ch only managed to catch one of them, which had a very beautiful bluish stripe on its belly.
By this time,I was feeling less cautious about walking through the desert, tall yellowish desert grass blowing in the wind, possible sheltering desert animals. I was even enjoying the hike down the arroyo, and I couldn’t help but imagine it filled with water. I have to say that I really miss the green of the Midwest and east coast. It amazed me to see the river bed as dry as a bone, yet it filled me with wonder each time to see them, and I couldn’t help but imagine them in their ‘most recognized’ form; filled with flowing water.
I think the kids really enjoyed the hike. It’s not something I would have done with the kids on my own, seeing as I’m not much of an animal person, nor am I that adventurous. Maybe when I was younger, but as I noticed, the older you get, and the more horrific news you read, the more cautious and sometimes unnecessarily fearful you are.
Well, at least for me. As I looked towards the Organ Mountains, I wondered about it. The warning sign that was placed a little bit away from the entrance clearly has a disclaimer that says there have been cases where people have died climbing the mountain. To my amusement, it also says, “Leave the rattlesnakes alone and they won’t harm you.” I find that a little hard to swallow though. I keep thinking of accidental incidents.
Warning Sign
I also had a little trouble comprehending Ch’s enthusiasm and excitement over finding snakes on the hike. He had said,
“The last trip we had, we only found one snake. “
I’d rather find no snake, but yes, I also can understand it from an animal person’s point of view, thanks to my animal-loving children. A little boy found our second snake on the hike, and this time, it wasn’t a rattlesnake, but a Sonoran Gopher Snake. This one, Ch actually picked up and put around his neck. While looking on, (from a safe distance) I pondered over how beautiful the snake was, and I also remembered thinking to myself,
It must not be dangerous then, if he puts it around his neck like that. Wow! A wild snake, pet and touched like a snake in captivity!
Later on, Ch did remark that,
“For a wild snake, he’s pretty calm.”
That explained it.
The kids gathered around him in awe and pet the snake, my three children included in that petting lot. When it was time to let the snake go, Ch gave the honor to the boy who found it. Joyfully, the boy carried the long snake over to a bush, and placed it gently down on the ground. We all looked on as it slithered and disappeared inside the bush. It was a hallmark moment, but really, I would rather not chance upon any snakes. Thank you very much!
All in all, it was a pretty interesting hike. I’m glad I got out of the van and battled my fears. Most of all though, I’m glad I was able to give the kids such an opportunity to enrich their life experiences. Alhamdulillah.
What Happens When Ummi Sleeps In
May 14, 2009 at 4:10 pm | In Desert life, Family, Kids, Mothering, New Mexico, Thoughts | 3 CommentsI’ve been skimping on sleep lately, especially during the hectic week of travelling (I owe this a post), so this morning, I slept in after Fajr. Since Fajr is now around 4/5 a.m. and sunrise is around 6 a.m., when I woke up, it was close to 9 a.m. I know. That’s a long ’sleep in’. Well, I had many days worth of sleep to make up. Even that is not enough.
While I was debating with myself whether to get out of bed or not, I thought I heard the vaccuum downstairs. Yesterday, when I went downstairs, the kids were already up and about, and the living room looked like it had been tidied up. As I soon found out, S had tidied up the living room, H had swept the floor and S had mopped it. They had also vaccuumed the living room. Nice! A mother could sure get used to that every morning.
When I came downstairs this morning, the house was cleaner than it was last night (I was too out of sorts to clean it before going to bed). I had peeked over the landing from my room and again, the pillows were neatly arranged on the couch and love seat. As I passed by the kitchen, I almost couldn’t believe my eyes! Usually, there would be a jar of opened peanut butter, strawberry jam, spread knifes on empty plates full of crumbs, sliced cheese wrappers, and opened bread containers littering the countertop, greeting me in the morning. Today, I was pleasantly greeted with a countertop that is free from all the eye sore, and the only thing laid out were two blue place mats, nicely arranged next to each other. My eyes scanned the rest of the kitchen, and sure enough, there was no usual ‘litter’ that often drove me to my inner monster. Alhamdulillah!
I quickly walked across the living room to the sunroom, wondering if the love seat’s slipcover was nicely tucked in. If it was, that would be a really nice surprise. I’m just learning the use of slipcovers. From this one, it’s not that easy to maintain, as it keeps coming loose from behind and under the cushions, that we always end up with a messy wrinkly mass on the seat. Unfortunately, the love seat still looked like that. The sunroom was not touched by the cleaning hands of the kids, apparently. Not a disappointment, as the fact that they even cleaned the kitchen and living room was already a nice surprise. I went out to the backyard and checked on my plants, which have been left out there ever since the weather turned warmer.
Before, we have had to bring the pots in every evening, before Maghrib, so the plants would not be destroyed by the extreme cold temperature of the desert. During the day, the temperature was usually hot but it siginifcantly dropped down at night. Now, we are in the 100s, and so the night temperatures are tolerable for the plants, and us.
My red bell pepper doesn’t seem to be fruiting, and neither are some of my other plants. Some of my chilli plants have been fruiting, but I’m just not sure if they are progressing as they should. Vegetable gardening is not my niche, so I’m pretty ignorant about this.
I have this plan, or should I say, dream of filling my house with house plants, and just yesterday, I went with Hamzah to the library, primarily to return his overdue book, but we ended up checking out an armful of books. We hadn’t brought our library bags, so the load of books we had got, attracted one librarian in particular who remarked,
“That’s whole lot of goodies you got there.”
I had swept the shelves of indoor gardening books in much glee, because I have been thinking and planning about this for quite some time now. Just a few days ago, I got 3-4 bagfuls of Better Homes and Garden and Family Fun magazines from Freecycle, and I’m as happy as a lark with my new free collection of past issues of BHG.
Anyway, back to ‘What Happens When Umi Sleeps In’, as I was making my way through the house, which looked pretty clean, the kids were in the girls’ room, apparently vaccumming. I went in and said,
“Mashaallah! The house looks very clean!”
“Yeah, it’s a hotel!”
“Is it going to be a hotel only for one day?” I asked.
S looked at me and in her quiet way, said,
“No, remember yesterday?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“We like to do it when you’re sleeping.”
“Ahh..then I should sleep in everyday!”
“Ummi, we have to do N’s bed today.”
I looked at the long flat rectangular box containing N’s new one leve captain bed frame and nodded. We had bought S one, and we had successfully put it together alhamdulillah. There was only one available at the time at Big Lots though, so for quite some time, N didn’t have a bed frame. We had missed one at Big Lots when they restocked, because I didn’t buy it because I couldn’t transport it home by myself. So when we went to Big lots later on, and they had restocked it again, I told hubby to go get it immediately, before someone else purchases it and we have to wait ages again. So now, both girls have a bed frame, but we have yet to put it together.
“Inshaallah we’ll do it today, but I still have to prepare my notes for today’s class.”
My Taleem class has been taking over my life in a nice way lately, alhamdulillah. Every Wednesday and Thursday, I would be in front of the computer from basically 3:30 – 7:30 p.m. Tuesdays are our Divine Link days, where all of us would drive to El Paso a little before maghrib to attend Sheikh Yaser’s weekly class that he had set up for his community. On Mondays, from now on, a family comes to the house for Quran lessons, with the kids as teachers too. So my days in the week are pretty much filled up, alhamdulillah with beneficial things. Though, it has exhausted me. I have to make sure I have cooked and make sure food is enough from Tuesday through Thursday, because dinner time occurs at 5:30 p.m. during which I am in class. So every Tuesdays, or sometimes Wednesdays I have had to bustle about in the kitchen in the mornings. Monday is also S’s horse ranch day. I find that going out of the house drains me of energy. I don’t know how the working moms do it.
So here I am, finally updating the blog, which has been abandoned for quite sometime. I thought I would document today’s ‘Good Morning Ummi’, as it doesn’t happen very often. I will savor this, and here is my hard evidence for this day’s occurrence. If this goes on, I will no longer have to make a chore chart, or yell and nag the kids to clean up. Will this go on, though?
I don’t know. I would like for it to, but everyone knows that might be a little too much to ask. So, I’m happy with today, alhamdulillah.
Kids, JAZAKUM ALLAH KHAIR! Muahs!
Oh, and to top it off, H offered me,
“Ummi, you want a hot chocolate?”
I feel pampered. Forget Mother’s Day! Alhamdulillah!
THis was what I found Baby Z wiping his nose, next to my bed when I woke up.
Hold Your Horses!
April 25, 2009 at 1:58 pm | In Animals, Desert life, Family, Homeschooling, Kids, New Mexico | 5 Comments
The Carsley Horse Ranch viewed from Baby Z's window
S and her love of horses has sent us into some adventures in being face to face with real live horses. In Columbus, we enrolled her in a riding class that went on for 10 weeks.
Before the move, I had looked into horseback riding lessons in this town. What I found was very interesting and comforting. New Mexico
Goats
is mostly desert, and apparently, a lot of people have ranches here. I stumbled upon one particular horse ranch that actually welcomes anyone with a love for horses. A child can help with horses and earn a free ride.
So, I got to calling the ranch, and before we knew it, we were driving towards the horse ranch, on a stretch of dirt road, which scared me to no end, because the van has been acting up lately.
Beautiful mountain backdrop
Days prior to that day, I had called the ranch and we were told to come at 3:30 p.m. S actually had a countdown to the day when she would be wtih her beloved horses. On D day, she was quite chirpy, was extra helpful, suddenly knew how to tell time, and was very punctual.
The 'watchdog' on a chain. He was quite gentle and docile. Didn't hear a woof out of him.
“S, copy down the directions to the place. I’m gonna go shower,” I told her after looking up the map on Google.
In my haste, I had forgotten to get directions for coming back from the ranch. The drive to the ranch was through the interstate highway, for about 15 minutes. The direction was pretty clear, but the road names had us in some patch of trouble as I took a wrong turn. I never expected to go on a dirt road, and all the while we jostled about in the van, I thought to myself,
If we suddenly got stuck here, we’d actually be in the desert. Rattlesnakes, no cell phone, ya Allah, please help us.
I had thought it was a mule or a donkey, but S said it was a burro. To be honest, I didn't even know how to spell it. S told me. Go figure.
Alhamdulillah we reached the ranch safe and sound. We spent about 2 hours at the ranch, during which S groomed and brushed three horses, rode a white pregnant one, and the rest of us waited and looked at the other animals on the ranch. It didn’t smell too nice, understandably, and I didn’t let Baby Z walk at all, for fear of him stepping on horse poop. When I first got there, there was another mother who was waiting for the instructor to get the horse ready for her son’s riding lesson.
“She’s really good,” she said.
The instructor had just passed by us with a horse. I nodded, wondering who she was referring to, the lady, or the horse. She probably sensed my confusion and added,
“The instructor.”
“I’m usually harsh on people who don’t treat my son well, but with her, I’ve had no problems.”
Ahh…I get it.
Baby Z was sleeping in the van when we got there, and the weather was pretty cool and breezy, even though the desert made it look very hot. Well, the sun was beating down on us, but the breeze took the sting of the heat away. Backed by the mountains, it was a really nice vantage point, where we parked the van. I had brought with me a book on homeschooling.
While waiting for S, I did some reading in the van, but because Baby Z then woke up, I had to tend to him. So we walked around the ranch, looking at the animals. By then, S was covered with horse hair, and I started thinking of how much of a hassle this would be.
I didn’t expect to spend so much time there, but we ended up staying there for about two hours. Baby Z got to pet a horse (surprising since he coiled back when we tried to get him to pet one in Columbus). I think he probably overcame his innate fear of animals, after seeing his siblings being on friendly terms with animals.
The pony S groomed
It was breezy despite the hot sun. Awesome backdrop despite the 'farm' stench.
By the time S was done, it was running kind of late, because I had to cook rice before hubby came home. Alhamdulillah there was another route I could take to go back home. It’s interesting how in Columbus, I would have never ventured out on my own to places I’ve never been to, but here, I feel absolutely comfortable venturing out, despite the nature of the street names changing from one end to the next. The drive home was about 15 minutes, but alhamdulillah for Anwar Awlaki’s audio lecture ‘Stories from Hadeeth’. Alhamdulillah for the audio CDs we have. Long, or even short drives in the van are opportunities for listening to the lectures, not just for me, but for the kids as well.
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