Baby Z & Colors
August 20, 2009 at 7:17 pm | In Baby Sign Language, Speech Therapy | 1 CommentAt today’s sessions, Baby Z really jumped up with regards to progress in paying attention and imitating signs. He did have some trouble sorting shapes yesterday; instead of trying to fit the shape of the object through the appropriate slot, he just tried to fit it regardless of the shape. Today, he did very well with the shape puzzle, and was even imitating the sign for the colors.
I would say he ‘grew’ into understanding the purpose of these toys, alhamdulillah. With Mr Potato Head, he also pointed to the respective body parts to show what parts of body he wanted to ‘install’ on Mr Potato Head.
I asked the therapist,
“I’ve never seen any of my other children with so many facial expressions. Is it because he’s signing that he has so many facial expressions?”
She said it probably might be, because when you speak, you have intonation and rhythm to account for what and how you want t deliver comsthing, but since Baby Z is not talking, his facial expressions compensate for those. Subhanallah. I love it though.
One thing Baby Z would do is get over excited over excited with the abundance of toys the therapists have in their bags. Usually, before he would get done with the current toy, he’d go to the bag and try to get another toy out. The therapist would then gently stop him, demanding that he clean up the current toy first. Today, he did get over excited again, and when the therapist insisted gently that he sign ‘more’ and ‘please’, he eventually did.
I noticed that he is not aggressive. I can easily imagine a toddler just bypassing the ‘No’ and plunging into the bag anyway. Baby Z didn’t, and the next time he was about to do the same thing, he hesitated, but just pointed with both arms and hands, all fingers at the bag, indicating that he wanted a new toy. I don’t know if that is good or not, since they claim that he has to have tantrums and have difficulty sharing, but alhamdulillah…
Ay Shhhhh
August 20, 2009 at 3:42 pm | In Amusing, Baby Sign Language, Family, Kid Talk, Kids, Quran, Speech Therapy | Leave a CommentThough we had to tickle it out of him, at least now Baby Z is vocalizing more. I have scheduled an appointment with the audiologist for him next Tuesday just to rule out any hearing issues. After a few sessions with both the speech and developmental therapist, all of us agreed that Baby Z tends to focus and concentrate so much on what he is doing that he zones out and becomes oblivious to everything else around him. Which is good when it comes to studying at an older age, but for now, the developmental therapist said that we should try to work on that because young children are supposed to be naturally curious. I do believe Baby Z is curious, but he explores in his own unique way. It’s a personality thing. hat’s what the Developmental Therapist said too yesterday when I asked her.
Baby Z seems to be having a little trouble matching shapes, and a few sessions ago it was pointed out in a nice and subtle way that maybe we don’t have enoug stimulating toys for him; toys that will give him those skills. That is true. I got rid of most of the toys when we moved. I guess we have to go toy shoppping, wooden board puzzles and shape sorters mostly.
On Tuesday, the speech therapist taught usthe sign language for colors. Alhamdulillah she is quite well verses in sign language that it is really benefiting Baby Z and all of us.
During the developmental therapist’s session yesterday, as she gave Baby Z a marker and a paper to scribble on, I told her of what I had done with him, regarding Glenn Doman’s method of teaching how to read. I tried it with him. I wrote ‘Ummi’.
We pointed it to him. H claimed that Baby Z had forgotten all the words we had taught him, but we tried anyway.
After a few prompting, of
“Z, what’s this?”
Baby Z made the ‘mommy’ sign. The developmental therapist was amazed. I tried another word, ‘tiger’, but Baby Z didn’t respond.
But she said to me,
“That’s good that he recognizes words like that.”
And I thought it was against any child developmental theories at least in terms of long term consequences. So far I haven’t seens any bad consequences from it with S, alhamdulillah. I think most people who are against teaching children to read at a young age are of the impression that the teaching is done with force and ’school’ style, which would of course burn the child out. But, it’s really not. It’s not done in a way that the child will resent. One has to read up on it to understand the technique and philosophy behind it.
The developmental THerapist yesterday let Baby Z play with playdough, but since he has never played with playdough before, he simply watched it with one of what the kids call his ‘disgusted’ face; crinkled lips, and slight furrow between the eyebrows. He didn’t smash the playdough, but rather picked it up like he would a solid unpliable thing, and placed it back in the container like he would a solid unpliable thing. It was rather comical I have to say.
Everytime the therapists were to leave, I would say to him,
“Z, say bye bye,” and I would gesture for him to wave at them.
Sometimes he would wave and walk them to the door, but other times he would just remain seated and direct his attention elsewhere, to a toy or book and ignore us.
So far, he has walked the therapists to the door though, even if he ignored them when told to wave. I suppose, when he realized that they were actually leaving, he left his toys and pitter pattered to the door to get ahead of them. His objective was: to open the door for them.
It was yesterday that I realized he did this on purpose. He had done it once but I thought it was just a one time thing. But it seems that he’s being a ‘gentleman’, as the Developmental Specialist commented yesterday, by opening the door for his ‘guests’.
He has uttered a few words, and one of them is ‘Ay Shhhhh’, and guess what it means? As I am typing up this post, he is standing beside me, with sticky jammy hands, a jam-smeared mouth littered with waffle crumbs and stained onesie and pants nodding his head and raising his eyebrows to the rhythm of the recitation of Yaseen on the above Youtube video. So far, I have told him to go back to his seat and finish eating his breakfast while the recitation is playing. Whenever it’s done, he would come to me and open his mouth wide, preparing to say Aa and I would on purpose ignore him and not look at him. With great effort, he would close his jaws together, teeth together and let out ‘Shhhh!’ and smile like it’s the greatest joy in this world, especially when I respond by looking at him and saying,
“Yaseen?? ohhh..ok!”
and kissing his forehead. He would then continue to nod his head and hum as if reciting the surah. Add some facial expressions consisting of one eye squint, pursed lips, and crooked eyebrow, and I have myself one of the joys of having children. Ahhh….Alhamdulillah.
Therapy for Baby Z
August 7, 2009 at 10:53 pm | In Baby Sign Language, Family, Homeschooling, New Mexico, Speech Therapy | 3 CommentsJust today, Baby Z started his speech and developmental therapy. I finally decided to check out Meca Therapy after some prompting from a sister. I still believe Baby Z would start talking on his own, but since the service is of no cost, I thought,
Oh, why not!
So here we are, on a journey to Baby Z’s speech. He is 27 months and has no actual words yet. He signs but after talking to the speech therapist, I think we’ve probably been making things too easy for Baby Z, in that he doesn’t have to work very hard to get what he wants.
He was completely enamored by the bag of toys they brought. Both therapists came over today. The developmental therapist started by taking out a shape sorter toy which immediately won baby Z over. He was supposed to nap, but as usual, he refused, left me slumbering in my room and went downstairs to…read.
While they were working with him, giving him puzzle and shape toys, and also Mr Potato Head, I noticed one recurring habit of his. He seems to be so engrossed in whatever he’s doing, that when we try to instruct him or give him information on what he’s working on, he doesn’t seem to hear or notice us. He doesn’t even look up. When I went for the appointment, we had him undergo a second hearing test, which he got ‘refer’ the first time. The second time, he also got ‘refer’. They said the instrument is quite sensitive, so it might be a false negative, but they told me to just have the speech therapist work with him about 2 months. If he still doesn’t seem to be hearing it, they will refer him to an audiologist. He didn’t fail the eardrum test, just the frequency one. I am not quite sure what that is called.
When told to clean up, Baby Z did it willingly, cooperating fully. It tickled me though how eager and unbridled he seemed when they took out a new set of toys for him to play with. I guess if he could speak, he would have probably uttered “Toys! Toys!” again and again, from the way he was acting.
Once, the speech therapist gave him an animal puzzle and withheld the pieces. He had to ‘ask’ for them one by one. By habit, he just reached for it, trying to get it from the therapist’ grasp without making any sign of communication, but after a while, since she persisted in having him at least sign for it, he did.
There was one puzzle, a car one, that had a magnet with which he coudl take the car pieces out from the puzzle. I dont think he noticed that when the developmental therapist, G, did it for him. Later on, while both therapists were making their notes, I showed it to him and oh boy, was he utterly fascinated!
He walked over to H, who was playing computer game, carrying the car pieces attached to the magnetized ‘picker’. His face exuded discovery and fascination. This boy is so transparent in that whatever he’s feeling, you can immediately see it on his face and expressioin. I guess, to compensate for his lack of speech, his face betrays him.
It was funny too, how he kept going over, peeking inside G’s toy bag, trying to get another toy to play with. Once, she put it behid her, and Baby Z looked for it.
After they left, he went to the kitchen to get a cup. Obviously he wanted a drink. He came to me, with his cup. I said to him, signing ‘drink’,
“You want to drink, Z?”
I repeated the sign ‘drink’ several times. To my surprise, he responded with his own version of ‘drink’. He never did before! He simply did the sign ‘more’ before, for both eating and drinking, despite me doing the ‘drink’ sign to him. Alhamdulillah! I guess the therapy is working so far, mashaallah!
What the speech therapist told me:
- When he wants something, try to get him to sign for it, since he’s not saying it. If he doesn’t say it, make him sign, if he doesn’t sign it, do ‘hand over hand’ for him, meaning take his hand and make the sign with his hand for him. After that, give him what he wants.
- The point is for him to get the idea that he needs to communicate it, that he needs to at least sign for what he wants.
- Work with him in pointing to body parts, like pointing to Mommy’s eyes, nose, or his own, or a bear’s. Since he loves ‘writing’ we can draw a face with those features and point them out to him
- Next time, I can show the therapists his favorite toys at home, so they can show me how to use them with him.
All in all, alhamdulillah, I am quite happy with this first session. I’m no stranger to having people come over to the house to work with my kids, because when the 3 older kids were younger, they were enrolled in Parents As Teachers in Iowa where a PAT specialist would come to the house once a month, to see their developmental progress, share with me some parenting brochures, and talk with me about their developmental milestones. These are some of the things I love about it here.
Inshaallah, as I’m getting rid of some things on my ‘DOING’ list, I will have more time now to devote to my kids, like I used to before we moved here. I already informed my dear editor that I can no longer freelance. That was a difficult decision to make, but one I had to make because of my Quran lessons and class. Now, I need to scratch off individual Quran lessons, as that is taking quite some effort and time on my part. if I weren’t doing the other things I am doing, I don’t think I would have scratched that off, but I have to. It’s just not efficient time and energy wise. It’s kind of tricky, because the kids I am teaching don’t quite know how to read, but I have to get things sorted out on my end because as it was, I was burned out and ready to give up everything. Which is not doing myself, my children, husband or other people any good.
Peace and Quiet
December 15, 2008 at 12:33 am | In Baby Sign Language, Books, Eid, Family, Kids, Mothering | 2 CommentsThe 10th of Zulhijjah and 3 days of tashreek. We’re still Eiding walhamdulillah. Our eid this year was pretty toned down. Usually, we would take the kids to Chuck E. Cheeses, but this year, hubby went back to his office to finish up work and I slept my morning off.
Alhamdulillah for the sisters of Tarbiyyah School who reserved the skating rink at WOW for sisters on the first day of Tashreek. Rh and Fr offered to pick the kids up. The kids were excited, so excited that when Rh and Fr didn’t get here by 12 pm (the afore-promised time), S came to me and muttered,
“Maybe they forgot.”
“No, they’ll be here. They’re just a little late I think. Why don’t you call them?”
I made sure I prepped them up before they left.
“Don’t ask them to buy you anything. Take the juice with you. If you’re thirsty, drink that, don’t buy anything. Save the money you have, make sure you don’t use up Z’s 5 dollars.”
And of course, I made sure they ate a satisfying meal before they left.
When the kids told hubby about the skating event, they told me that he had said,
“That would need money.”
I told them they could use their Eid money, a 20 dollar bill split up between the four of them. Alhamdulillah, renting the rollerblades cost only 1 dollar, and since they could also use their own rollerblades, that saved even more. The only thing they couldn’t control was the entrance fee.
Armed with a bottle of orange juice, a few paper cups, their roller blades, and a 20 dollar bill, off they went with Rh and Fr to the skating rink, leaving Baby Z and me with some much needed peace and quiet. I know. Not complete peace, but Baby Z alhamdulillah is a pretty easy toddler to care for, except for the allergies that is. He’s quite mild in temperament and doesn’t really demand much, and he can occupy himself by sitting quietly and flipping through the pages of a book, or several books for that matter. If not that, then the computer, where he would peck on the keyboard with his chubby fingers, eyes afixed to the screen, noting every little effect his pecking is producing.
I spent the morning feeding him three small bowls of his food, and several sips of rice milk. I have to say, these past few weeks, I realized that taking care of three bigger kids and one lil one is not easier than taking care of three young children about 15/16 months apart. When they’re all about the same age, you can easily herd them together like a flock of sheep, but when you have several age groups, (in my case two) it gets a bit trickier. I really am amazed at how mothers of more than 4 children handle it, and my recent interview responses really gave me some wonderful insights.
I realize that with Baby Z, a lot is done for him, especially at mealtimes. I still have to get a handle on how to separate his food and our food. The dining table is a dangerous place, since the older kids use it. There would be a plate with bread crumbs on it, a spread knife with remnants of peanut butter, and bottles and glasses of milk, all detrimental to Baby Z. N had broken Baby Z’s meal tray, so we couldn’t put him on his seat with the tray on, thus I gave up letting him eat by himself. We’re still feeding him to this day whereas my three older kids were already eating by themselves at this age. Same with drinking. My heart skips beats when I see cups with white liquid in it. If Baby Z were to take it and attempt to drink it, if it was milk, he’d most probably have a reaction. We designate a special cup for him, his plastic bright green cup, though he still reaches for other cups. Once, he happened to swipe the table which was scattered with bread crumbs with his hands, and then scratched his neck, and immediately hives appeared. I can deal with hives. It’s the wheezing that I can’t take. It scares me to death. And I keep forgetting to ask his doctor about him having an epipen, just in case.
I asked a mom of 5 who has one multiple allergic son how she manages, and she said, there were times when her allergic son sneaked some cookies and broke out in hives and rashes. And today his egg allergies is worse somewhat, and she said it could probably be due to all those cookies he managed to sneak in.
Recently, I declared myself to be on strike with regards to cooking; that I would only cook for myself and Baby Z. I think I felt the accumulated stress of cooking two, sometimes three different meals each time. With the three older kids, I usually just cook one meal and everybody ate it. With Baby Z, I have to cook his food, and ours, and sometimes, his, mine and theirs. There were a lot of times where I end up hungry because there was nothing to eat (because I have to cook them, which is a boon actually, as readily available food are usually not that healthy, except for fruits of course), and then there was my milk supply, which is now decreasing at an alarming rate. There were nights when Baby Z would wake up, crying for my milk, and I had almost nothing to give him. When he realized I wasn’t going to give him any milk, he lay down quietly and gulped down his own saliva, which we could clearly hear. One night, hubby had to take him downstairs and give him some water to drink because I couldn’t give him any milk. Subhanallah…the fact that his allergies make me more responsible for his source of milk and liquid can be quite taxing. Four more months that I am responsible for this, inshaallah. I just have to hold out until then.
I do try to give him more rice milk though, while I struggled to increase my milk supply. Those difficult nights are behind us alhamdulillah, for now. Now he doesn’t wake up at night anymore (provided he went to bed with a full tummy).My milk supply is back up, alhamdulillah, though I have to vigilantly keep up my eating, drinking, and stress level, and of course sleep.
It’s amusing to see how children love routines and order. Everytime we give him his drink, he would go to the paper towel held in place by the paper towel holder on the wall and point to it, refusing to drink without a wad of paper towel under his chin. By now, he knows that when he drinks, there should be a wad of tissue held underneath his chin, to catch all those drips (which he sometimes does on purpose).
When the kids left with Rh and Fr to the skating place, Baby Z and I surrounded ourselves with books, his with his and me with mine. I lay on the bed reading my book, and he took his books, brought them to the bed, and looked through them while making signs and saying “uh, uh”. His face would light up when I joined him, and we looked at the pictures together.
He wouldn’t really let me read to him, as he would too quickly turn the page before I could finish reading a sentence, so I would just talk about the pictures, and make the signs, to which he would pay attention. When I added sound effects, it seemed to particularly tickle him and he would giggle.
I spent the morning feeding him three small bowls of his food, back to back, while he opened up a book I was planning to read (yes, while feeding him. I’ve been doing a lot of multitasking with regards to reading lately, and still am). The book, Curried Favors, has food photos, to which he would point, and I would mention the name, and while I thought he was absorbed in the book while I fed him, every time his food was almost gone, he would make the ‘more’ sign, sending me to the kitchen to refill his bowl. It maybe took about half an hour or more just feeding him his food. That didn’t include giving him his rice milk and water. But I loved that one on one time with him.
It felt like just as I was getting comfortable on the bed, reading, while also looking at the pictures in his book and making chug a chug a choo choo sounds, we heard a knock on the front door. I couldn’t believe it. Time had flown just like that, my peace and quiet was broken just like that. The older kiddoes were back.
“Already?” I remarked, as I opened the door.
“It was long, Ummi…” S said.
And in they all trooped.
Oh well, at least I did get some peace and quiet. Beggars can’t be choosers.
Some Resources For Baby Sign Language
November 21, 2008 at 9:56 pm | In Baby Sign Language, Books, Kid Talk | 5 CommentsI began clicking and then I couldn’t stop. I am also noticing that Baby Z now wants to use his hands for making signs. Once, he had spilled water on himself and I had said,
“You got yourself wet?”
He immediately seemed to try and make a sign, or at least expected a sign to come with the word wet. Since they wetness was on his chest, when it happened again, at a later time, when I said the word ‘wet’, he pulled his shirt with his index finger and thumb. Just today, I found the sign for wet, which is the sign for water, followed by the sign for soft.
I think it’s time we check out those baby signing videos from the library again.
How can we go back to Malaysia now?
NERTCL Presents “Signing for Babies”
From Mommy 4-1-1: Signing with Infant and Toddlers: Navigating the Options
American Sign Language Browser
i think I know what my next stack of books is going to be about. Whetstone Library, here I come…again.
Baby Z – The Late Talker
November 21, 2008 at 12:43 am | In Baby Sign Language, Books, Family, Kid Talk, Kids, Mothering, Siblings | 7 CommentsAlhamdulillah we didn’t miss Baby Z’s well appointment today. In the midst of everything, I had lost track of the time and date, and we had missed Baby Z’s well appointment in early November. That has never happened before! Let’s just say I was under a state of duress. Plus, there was no reminder call the day before, so I guess it’s not all our fault (yeah…I still feel bad about it).
Baby Z’s iron was said to be low, and it became a concern, so he had a blood draw again today. Didn’t cry much, but they had trouble finding his vein. I have the same problem too. They spent quite some time looking for my vein when I was pregnant and they had to do a blood draw.
Late Talker. He is quite an expert at sign language, but he still refuses to talk. Though, just a few days ago, I was sitting with him while the rest of the family prayed, and I heard it loud and clear from him,
“Awwwwwoooo baaa!”
I know I said before that his first word is Allahu Akbar, but I was not 100% convinced. This time, I am. S insisted,
“He does talk. You just don’t know it. When I say hot, he says, ‘tuhh’. He says the end letter.”
That is strange, to me at least. Where did you ever hear a child saying the ending consonant of a word? It’s usually the first consonant, isn’t it?
But Dr. D said that he’s probably just a late talker. He’s not too concerned because Baby Z is understanding us well, can follow instructions (oh boy, yes he can, alhamdulilllah), is living in a bilingual household, and is doing well with the sign language. I’m personally thinking that maybe, he’s pretty slow with his developments out of laziness. Everyone around him is tending to him, doting over him, and coming to his service even before he requires it. So for what purpose would he be motivated to roll over, crawl, walk and talk? I was also reading about late talkers on the net the other day. It also lists ‘talkative siblings’ as one of the causes. Go figure.
When the three older kids were younger, I guess it was a different environment. They were all about the same age. They had to compete with one another (in a way). No one was doting constantly over them. They had to fend for themselves pretty much. Thus their development was different. I’m really digging this birth order thing! As a mother, you can’t really depend on being one in knowing what to expect of a child anymore. There’s always a curve ball. Such is life. It’s like there is a hidden bird’s eye chilli, pregnant with fresh seeds, packed with powerful capsaicin snuggling underneath those entanglement of noodles, waiting for you to bite into them unexpectedly. (Ok, I just ate noodle soup. Forgive me for this analogy. I am still bearing the onslaught of capsaicin molecules on my tongue!)
Baby Z, has been giving us laughs, with his earnest sign for cat, demonstrated by grinning, eyes alight, forcing the eyebrows to rise in perfect arches, and two little index fingers pressing his fleshed out cheeks, as if trying to poke holes through them.
He recently got soft snuggly slippers, with cat heads on them. We call them his cat shoes/slippers. Ask him,
“Z, where’re your cat shoes?” while making the cat sign followed by the shoe sign, and he’d perk up, and put on an expression saying,
“You’re right! Huh, where are they?”
If he knows where they are, he’d almost break into a run, (as much as a toddling tot could that is, butt a wiggling, torso leaning forward, and legs rapidly moving, one foot in front of the other) and come back with his cat slippers in hand, grinning.
He’s obsessed with books, just like the rest of us, and the most tickling moment for me personally, is of him poring over a book while lying down on his tummy, like some big kid entranced in the pages of a book. By himself, since he is now empowered by the sign language, he would point to the pictures of animals or things he could recognize in the book, and make the sign for them, to no one but himself. In imitation of his sisters and brother, he would also ‘read’ books while lying down on their bed, head on the pillow, pages flipped in well-calculated intervals. In fact, the other night, he refused to follow me to our room, and remained on the girls’ bed, imitating their laughter with his fake one, book in hand, head on the pillow, giving nary a look at both of his parents who were on their way out the door. HUbby turned off the lights and closed the door (us still inside the room) and there Baby Z remained, still cracking up fake laughter, in his attempt to be ‘one of the kids’, where we thought he’d sit up and cry.
I can’t even keep up with trying to document his progress anymore. Too busy living life to document them all. That’s the reality of life, but for the sake of bad memory, I guess I will still try to jot them down, if not for me, for them, when they grow up.
Communicating with Baby Z
November 13, 2008 at 1:30 am | In Amusing, Baby Sign Language, Family, Kids, Siblings | 6 CommentsHe’s still not talking yet. I don’t worry, but am relishing and savoring the pace at which he acquires new signs. Hubby complained,
“I see him doing the same signs. Teach him more. Have the kids learns five signs each, and have them teach them to Z.”
Yesterday, when hubby and H came back from the masjid and opened the front door, Baby Z toddled to it as usual, and did the cold sign, his body shaking as he did it.
Today, as I was cutting the frozen banana leaves into small pieces, S held Baby Z on her lap and satd on the kitchen stool. Baby Z touched the leaves and we told him,
“Cold!”
He did the sign, teeth locked together, chin doubling, fists closed tight, and body slightly shaking. Later on, when I held the cut pieces of banana leaves over a lit candle, i told H to find the sign for fire. Once he got it, he went to Baby Z and said,
“Z, fire,” and did the sign.
I was too busy looking at the banana leaf I was holding, but I believe Baby Z did the fire sign.
S asked me,
“Z pointed to this and did this. Is this the sign for flower?”
Her shirt had flowers on, and I nodded, that yes, that was the sign for flower.
Baby Z now is mostly content sitting on the floor, flipping through any books, but when he sees pictures of things that he knows the sign of, he would immediately do the sign, even if no one was looking, meaning, he seems to be ‘talking’ to himself. He even does it while we’re praying, though he also almost made me laugh out loud while we were praying by letting out a sound very much like the sound of a turkey gobbling, in an attempt to say,
“Allahu akbar!”
His chin is elongated and thickened, his cheeks are sucked in and his lips open and close like a fish gasping for air.
I do think his first word is Allahu Akbar. Yes, I believe it is. It must be.
I have a feeling it will be a while before he talks, seeing how we tend to h is every need with just the signs. However, I do also feel that when the time is right for him, he will find the need to talk, inshaallah. Right now, we’ll just enjoy those little fingers in action and save his words for later.
Tell Me the Way to the Library, Please…
October 21, 2008 at 3:10 pm | In Baby Sign Language, Family, Homeschooling, Kid Talk, Kids, Powerpoint, Siblings | 5 CommentsYesterday was a day of impromptus. It was time to go to the library because some magazines could no longer be renewed, so we waited for Baby Z to wake up after being exhausted from his ‘tahajjud’ romping from 4:30 am to 6 a.m. I should have woken up and prayed, instead of pretending to sleep so he would come back to bed. Before long, I had to wake up for suhoor, and by then he was sleepy and hungry. Thanks to the crazy honking outside, which jarred Baby Z from his sleep, pretty much.
When he woke up it was around 9:30 a.m. While waiting, S and I worked on the dolls for the Muslimah Doll Project. When we headed out, I decided to try on a different kind of hijab, just to see if it would sit well with me. Lo and behold, as I rummaged in the hanging closet under the stairs, I found the winter coat our Korean neighbor had given to us, meant for S, and I tried it on. I loved it! So out I walked to the van, where the kids were already waiting, and as I did, they all stared at me, and … laughed.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, almost incredulously, though I was fighting back the urge to laugh myself.
“Ummi, you look weird!”
“Ugly weird?” I asked, though I wasn’t about to go back inside and change if S had said yes.
“No, weird weird!”
“You look like a strict teacher!”
“If you wear lipstick then you would look like a fancy teacher.”
Well, we went to the libray and as we turned out of our court, H remarked,
“I know the way to the library now.”
“So if someone were to ask for directions, you’d be able to give it?” I asked, and the lesson for map reading skills and giving directions popped in my head.
“Yeah, well, only from our house. Well, actually from Ackerman Road.”
We had done this before. When they were learning about giving directions, we applied it on the way to the library and I had them look out for the names of the road and we hashed out proper sentences that give directions.
Lately they have been so preoccupied with Powerpoint, and as with any other homeschooling activities we have done so far, an impromptu activity was born.
“Ok, how about you write down the directions to the library, and when we go home, you make a powerpoint presentation on it. You can be as creative as you live.”
“Yeah! Yeah!”
S, who was sitting with me in front, sought a paper she could write on, and a pen. This was the only drawback of impromptu ideas – obviously lack of materials due to lack of planning. As we drove to the library, they (well, mostly S and H) looked out for the names of the road, and even bickered over,
“Turn right on Kenny,” versus “Turn right from Ackerman to Kenny.”
It racked my brain for a while even though I felt “Turn right on Kenny,” was correct. I later modified it to,
“Turn right onto Kenny.”
We spent about an hour or less at the library, and I grabbed a few Kids Discover issues on Brain, Presidency (since the topic of Obama versus Mccain has come up more than once in our family chats), Gorilla, and Muscles, among others.
“I got some magazines. Feel free to look over them at home, okay, even if you didn’t get them. I got them for you guys,” I told them.
Ever since they have their own cards, they deem it not ‘doable’ to read others’ books, though some of them has picked ‘others’ books to read to the fury of the ‘others’. It then struck me,
The unschooling approach is to provide a learning environment. For younger children, it’s the Montessori approach. I have decided to deschool them except for routine Quran after Fajr (which now incorporates tajweed, review or memorized suwaar and new memorization along with the reading, which by the way takes about an hour or more for all three children). We’re currently in an unstable situation. We only have about a month, well, slightly more, till we find out if we’re headed back to Malaysia for sure, or move elsewhere in the United States. Hubby’s interview on Dec 2 will be the determinant if nothing comes up before then. It will be an interesting Edi Al Adha, I predict. But for now, I make our default as ‘going back to Malaysia’ as we all deal with our ‘grief’ over this possibility. The kids are not too happy about it. I am not either, and I don’t think hubby is either, and even my mom feels sorry for us, especially the kids, but Allah knows best, and this ayah keeps coming to me,
“…it may be that you don’t like something but it is good for you..”
So, this November will probably be filled with preparations to go back (mainly decluterring and seiwng all the fabric we have lying around plus maybe using up all the cake ingredients, all this on top of my article assignment and possible work for hire). It might be wise for me to deschool them and resurrect their full enthusiasm and interest for learning by the time we move to wherever we’re supposed to move to. That in itself, will be learning experience for all of us, inshaallah, and I kind of look forward to it. Of course the issue of continuing homeschooling them in Malaysia looms darkly over us, but I guess I’ll deal with it when and if it comes. For now, we will live life as we usually do, look deep within ourselves and constantly ask for forgiveness, and keep asking Allah for the best. We don’t even know if we will still be alive come December.
As soon as we got home, they practically dashed to the computer and started working on their powerpoint. Pity there are only two computers in the house, because as of now, only H is done with his powerpoint. Since only S took and wrote down the directions, H and N were left high and dry. H, being resourceful, continued to asked S, who gave him some help, but didn’t serve him her notes, and even google mapped it himself. N on the other hand, felt very bitter about S not sharing her notes, and worked on her powerpoint, but didn’t even bother to ask S for help.
As for Baby Z, well, he continues to amaze us by signing things as we introduce them to him, using them, and making new faces at us. I notice that he tends to clam up though, and it occurred to me that maybe the reason he is slow in everything (relatively) is most probably because of our family dynamics. I remember the pediatician saying,
“He probably doesn’t see the need to roll over because everyone’s coming to him,”
when I expressed slight concern over him not rolling over at 6 months.
I also noticed that once he acquires a new skill, he masters it really quickly and more. So, I guess, for now, he is most probably not talking because we keep talking ‘for’ him, and because he has the signs which we all respond to so readily and eagerly. I read in the book ‘Baby Signs’ that they will talk when they feel the need to, and the need will come, inshaallah, as they go into newer stages in their lives. Inshaallah. I hope so. So far though, he seems to be very content flipping over pages in books, seriously and silently poring over each page intently. I notice that before, he would open up a book, speed flip through it in a few seconds and close it, not even interested in looking at the pictures. But now, I think he has developed an interest in actually scrutinizing the pictures on the pages that he would flip a page, look at it for more than few seconds before turning to another page. Books seem to be an easy find in this house. It’s literally everywhere. So this little tot would grab one, seat himself on the floor, and flip the pages and look at he pictures. He even took some newspaper booklet, laid his legs out parallel, placed the newspaper on his stretched out legs, and started flipping the pages. I was surprised he even realized the newspaper was for reading. I guess the pictures attracted him.
I truly don’t remember any of my three children doing this at this age. Baby Z’s exposure to books and reading is probably at a larger scale than the older three because practically everybody is doing it as opposed to it being just me when the three kids were younger. Alhamdulillah. May he live up to his namesake. Ameen!
Well, as for our impromptu activity, here is H’s powerpoint presentation.
A Pretty Relaxed Day
October 16, 2008 at 4:06 am | In Baby Sign Language, Books, Family, Homeschooling, Kitchen, Mothering, Siblings, Thoughts | Leave a CommentWearing goggles in the kitchen. Folding paper for fractions. Math Cats. Table trees. Game show. Reading. That’s today. I was thinking today that I should actually be deschooling them. This unschooling business, I believe in the philosophy of it, but my old schoolness hinders me from totally going the unschooling direction, and of course, I can’t really unschool them in some areas, like Quran for example. But in other areas, I would love to take the unschooling approach, and the first step should actually be deschooling. I think, hubby’s remarks also induces guilt in me, that I don’t really go for deschooling. And this going back to Malaysia business, also plays a part, though surprisingly, not so much. So I structure our homeschool, in a way, partly because of this fear and partly because it’s in my nature. But today, I didn’t worry too much about structure. I am personally curious though to see if deschooling will really trigger their natural curiosity as lifelong learners. Should I take the risk? I don’t know. If we live in the jungle and still have access to library books and internet maybe I will. Or if our circumstances change, maybe I will. Allah knows best. But for now, it’s eclectic for us. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. Whatever it is, they’re still benefitting inshaallah. I just have to keep reminding myself not to worry about them not being up to par with other kids or not catching up to their grade level, which by the way is truly a challenge.
Parenting-wise, I believe, or I’d like to think so, that I have made some progress, inshallah. Right now, parenting the bigger kids is more challenging than parenting Baby Z, such that I may tend to abandon Baby Z at times. Baby Z now is a very active tot, mashaallah. He’s learning signs very quickly now. We’ve been a little lax with introducing new signs to him, until recently when he began to use them. It seems that he’s getting used to using signs to express what he wants to express that once, he moved his hands to sign something that we haven’t taught him. So we picked up where we left of with teaching him new signs. The most exciting thing: he responds and uses those signs more than before, alhamdulillah!
His most recent sign is cat, maybe made more possible by Hayaa (which is a post I still owe this blog) and the toy cats of N. Like me, I think Baby Z has a natural fear of animals. At S’s horse riding lesson, on the last day, G let S take her horse out to us so we can pet it. I did, not with trepidation though. The kids all did too. As for Baby Z, despite seeing me stroke the horse (which felt really great by the way!) jerked back when we brought him close to the horse. At another time, H bought a toy, a robotic cat, movd by remote control. When they directed it towards Baby Z, Baby Z turned hysterical and tried to run away. N’s cat, which can also meow and move, purr and stretch, also scared Baby Z in the beginning, but now, he is the one pressing the button to make the cat meow, purr and stretch. In fact, he has also taken to stroking N’s other soft toys which are cats. Thus he learned the sign for cat, and did so with a Cheshire cat grin I might add, which tickled us so much that we kept saying to him,
“Z, Z, cat. Cat. Cat!”
He also learned the sign for dog, as a result of picking up a book that had a picture of a dog. When he learned the sign, which was a pat on the thigh, he took to it so quickly mashaallah, and began patting his thigh enthusiastically, which in turn delighted all of us. His favaorite hand gesture is a twist of the palm, indicating ‘where is/ what happened to’ something. He also has a facial expression to match the gesture.
Hubby is still using the service of the Handivan, and everytime the Handivan comes to pick hubby up or drop him off, it has a beeping sound, which by now, Baby Z has associated with ‘Abi coming home’. Just today, while we were sitting in the kids’ room, we heard the beeping sound. It wasn’t hubby, but H said to Baby Z,
“Z, abi!”
Engrossed in a book, Baby Z didn’r react immediately, but after he was done flipping throug hthe book, he hurriedly got up, went to S and unintentionally smacked her face. He intended to tell her to pick him up so he could see out the window. Well, S pretended to cry and Baby Z wore his guilty face, but later as S hugged him, he somewhat franctically made the ‘Abi’ sign, which in his version is an index finger pointing to his head. Whenever hubby comes home, we would open the front door, and let Baby Z stand there welcoming Abi home.
Hubby had also taught him to raise his hands for takbir, which he does but with his palms facing his back. When we make salat, he would imitate our ruku’, which is basically an upside down V for him, and our sujud. Many a times, we would have to either move him away or make sujud over him.
Climbing up the stairs is something he is doing very well now, but it is also something that scares me. He is moving up the stairs very quickly, too quickly in fact, that he’s at the top of the stairs before you can run to stand one step behind up as he does so. One thing that keeps nagging me is I should start to make new cards for him, for the Glenn Doman program. He is showing a fascination with books, thanks to the three ever reading sibs, and especially loves touchy feely books. I don’t worry about him tearing or destroying a book, except by mistake or accident. He has really learned to turn the pages gently without tearing them mashaallah, alhamdulillah!
Today, H had his screaming session again, as a result of some bickering with S (nothing new). I have learned to ignore these, until they get bad. Today, I managed to practice what I have been reading so much about. His screams escalated and before long, I heard Baby Z beginning to cry. I ran upstairs to check it out, upon N and S’s claims of
“H is hurting Z!”
H was screaming and grunting in his room, trying to get at S who was on his bunk bed. I took him to my room, and asked,
“Did you hit S?”
He shook his head.
“I know…you sound furious. You must be so angry with her, aren’t you?”
He nodded. At first, his anger seem to escalate, but as I reflected his feelings, I noticed his anger dissipating, at being understood and heard.
“Mashaallah, you didn’t hit her even though you were so angry with her.”
I hugged him and consoled him, trying to make a big deal of how he avoided hitting his sister despite being so furious at her. He calmed down. At the time, I was fixing a slideshow for my mother’s blog and had to go abck downstairs. Knowing full well that he still needed time to recover, I told him to come with me and see what I was doing. He came. I again, commended him for controlling himself from lashing out at his sister, and even said,
“I noticed you always do that, mashaallah!”
By the time we had to pray Zuhr, about 15 minutes later, he was back to normal, alhamdulillah.
I felt great. And i hope he feels great too, well, you know what I mean. Alhamdulillah. I’ll take this as one step forward in teaching myself to parent them wisely. Alhamdulillah.
Oh Allah, please continue to give me strength and patience and wisdom in dealing with my children. Ameen.
My late afternoon landed me rush-cooking in the kitchen with S as my right hand girl. She peeled the carrots, cut the vegetables, and when I told her to peel and cut the onions, she groaned.
“I know. I hated it too. When I was small they always tell me to peel the onions. I hated it too. It was a boring job,” I said to her.
“Not because it’s boring, because it hurts my eyes,” she replied.
So I told her to do something else, and when I started cooking, I found her wearing goggles. I remember thinking to myself at that moment,
“I have to write this on the blog. This is something to remember!”
It’s not like they haven’t worn goggles before in the kitchen due to onions, but she continued to wear it as she was helping me, and it tickled and warmed me to see my firstborn helping me in the kitchen despite being somewhat sensitive (a little bit more than normal) to the onions. She has really been a big help and really, I understand why some or maybe most mothers say that they prefer to have daughters as their firstborns. Subhanallah. Even from my own children, I notice that gender does give you some variety over chore allocations. H for one hates arranging, feeding Baby Z, and decorating, but likes jobs such as scrubbing the bathroom, mopping floors, and ikcy jobs the girls turn up their noses at. On the other hand, the girls are more nurturing, and would feed Baby Z willingly even though they sometimes complain about having to do so.
I am currently reading Raising a Large Family, and I know this might elicit some gasps from people, but I suddenly feel somewhat more inclined to have more children. Ok. I hope hubby doesn’t see this or hold this over my head later on. Maybe I’m just having too good a day, alhamdulillah.
Enjoying Baby Z
August 13, 2008 at 12:13 am | In Allergies, Amusing, Baby Sign Language, Books, Family, Kid Talk, Mothering, Thoughts | 2 CommentsWell, with a lot of enthusiasm, I picked up my reserved items on Baby Signing from the library, though the DVDs weren’t available fast enough. I got hold of the book first. Of course, I immediately devoured it. Interesting stuff, indeed!
Joseph Garcia, in Sign with Your Baby, began his book with the importance of communication between parent and child. He highlights the significance of knowing what young babies want to express as a determining factor between calling 911 or not. Contrary to what has been touted about signing with babies recently though (or at least my impression of it), he recommends signing in silence every once and again. The silence is to make the child more aware of expressing himself in a different way than verbally. He writes from experience, which takes care of the issue of credibility.
There is a chapter called ‘Will Signing Interfere With My Child’s Speech Development?’ In it he says that babies who sign have higher levels of language competency than those who don’t, and babies who sign have better syntax than babies who didn’t sign. Overall, it contributes towards an enhancement of the communication process.
Personally, I just want to do it because Baby Z is not talking yet, and he has begun to show some slivers of meltdowns and tantrums. So I just want him to be able to express himself so we can understand him. But, if it also improves his communication abilities, hey, why not?
In the course of my reading the book, which happened during our ride on our grocery shopping trip and randomly stolen slices of time, I realized that sign language is a language, meaning that your child knows it, he is learning a second language (if he only knows one spoken language that is).
We started signing with Baby Z, and his immediate reaction was a brief look of slight confusion followed by a wide grin and chuckle. He loves it! At first, he didn’t imitate our movements, which I didn’t expect him to anyway, but when I read that we can assist them by holding their hands to make the hand movements, I did it with him.
Just this afternoon, I was lying on the bed with him, while he was in a playful mood after his afternoon nap. It was just the two of us, and he had not seen his Abi since that morning, so I said to him,
“Z, where’s Abi? Where’s Abi?” while doing the sign for Daddy.
Yesterday, he actually did the sign for Daddy when we showed it to him, but instead of an open palm, he formed a fist with a pointing index finger and tapped the side of his head with it. Close enough! I’ll take it! So when I did it with him this afternoon, he grinned and followed suit. Then I did the sign for Mommy, while saying,
“Ummi,” a lot of times, and he formed the same fist with a pointing index finger and tapped his chin with it.
I responded with an exhilirated whoop of joy, to which he widened his grin and let out a chuckle. After a while though, as I continued showing him the signs for Daddy and Mommy, he took that pointing index finger fist and brought to my forehead, and started tapping my forehead, while muttering to himself.
Uh oh! Well, I brought his hand to his forehead, but he was pretty intent on poking my forehead, to which I later relented, which also brought me a sharp poke in the eye.
Overall, it has been very entertaining around here lately with the signing. S was feeding Baby Z one day, and was signing more. I was bustling about the kitchen and suddenly S exclaimed,
“Ummi! Ummi!”
By the tone of her voice, I knew Baby Z had acquired a sign. I turned my head to see him making the sign more, though not exactly as how it’s supposed to be, but that is expected. Mashaallah!
So far, he hasn’t quite picked up on the sign for milk yet, insisting instead on pulling my neckline and peering inside whenever he wants to nurse.
Now, even S and N are excited about the whole thing, especially when Baby Z has also started to output the signs. I can’t believe how I could have forgotten how wonderful life with a toddler is. Inna maal usri yusra indeed.
As I watched him tear the room apart this afternoon, I thought back to why I never was driven to do this months ago. It came back to me. His severe eczema. Before he turned one, I was dealing with his eczema on a daily basis. It was stressful to say the least, because I couldn’t really prevent him from scratching himself, and sometimes or most times he couldn’t fall asleep because he had started scratching, which in turn led to more itching, which in turn led to more scratching, and the hideous cycle continues. I started the Glenn Doman with him, but dropped it because I was too busy caring for his eczema. Now that his eczema has cleared up significantly alhamdulillah, I am freer to focus on things like this.
I was telling hubby, on the drive home from the grocery stores last Saturday,
“Now I can actually enjoy having a baby since he’s the only one, as opposed to having three very close ones together. I feel relaxed.”
Well, ‘relaxed’ comparatively that is. That’s what I meant by Inna maal usri yusra. Thinking back to his eczema, I am very grateful that he is now a pretty healthy active toddler who brightens up our life with his sweet addictive smile everyday.
Hubby did quip, in response to my statement,
“Oh, so we can have another one soon then,”
To which I retorted,
“Uhh…we have to focus on our parenting skills first.”
“I think we barely pass,”: he replied.
I had felt this way before. No baby until we become better parents, but Allah gave us one anyway, because I guess, practice makes perfect? Though I really cringe to think of our ‘victims’; the children, while we mess up and do them damage.
But I really do feel blessed to be given another chance at being a parent, though obviously, my task of parenting the other three is very short of being done. H said to me earlier today,
“Ummi, you’re doing a lot of things with Z that you didn’t do with us, like signing and all.”
It made me think of another topic, co-sleeping. I am currently writing on the topic of infant sleep, and I have been reading up on the many different methods and approaches. The book The Family Bed resonates a lot with how I feel. I have always brought my babies to bed with me, and I only separated S because I was pregnant with N and N because I was pregnant with H, and H because I learned my lesson. With Z, I had wanted to change our sleeping arrangements, but his allergies and eczema hampered it, plus our house is too filled to make any adjustments (though I personally think this is a pretty lame excuse). But now, I think we’ll keep this sleeping arrangement especially because of his allergies.
There is wisdom behind everything that happens, and Z is a clear testament of that. Had he not been allergic, I might not have adopted the attachment parenting philosophy (I practically rocked him to sleep and ’spoiled’ him in every way). From my readings, this parenting philosophy is beginning to overwhelm the old one touting independence from an early age. Personally, I think each philosophy has its own merits and no one is necessarily the right one for everyone. It all depends on what kind of tests Allah serves us. With my three children, I had to employ the ‘cry it out’ method because of our situation, but with Baby Z, I am able to use a more relaxed approach, probably also because I have helping hands available. Subhanallah!
For now, we’re thoroughly enjoying Baby Z picking up on the signs we have shown him. As I was composing this post, S had said,
“Z, you want *mamam?”
which means “Z you wanna eat?”
I have to sheepishly admit I couldn’t help using that one baby word with him, despite knowing that we should use proper words so they would learn the proper words.
In response, Baby Z did the eat sign, to which I squealed and clapped like a mad woman.
I predict more of that mad woman reactions in the days to come inshaallah.
Oh Allah, I am grateful for Your Blessings that You have bestowed upon us out of your Mercy and Compassion, Ya Rahmaan Ya Raheem Ya Rabbal ‘Aalameen.
Allahumma inee as aluka ‘afwa wal ‘aafiyah fi deeni wa ahli wa maali. Ameen.
Oh Allah, I ask you for Your forgiveness and protection in my religion, my family and my wealth. Ameen.
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