Days of Our Lives

Yes, that’s right. No TV. We don’t have a TV in the house. I knowe we just moved across the state, but as far as I know, and can afford it, we’re remaining without one.

Anyone who has been reading this blog for the past few years probably knows my dilemma and nagging problem with having TV in the house. Ever since we were in Columbus, I have had this intention the moment we move; we will not have any TV in the house.

I weaned the kids, and myself from the TV back in the summer of 2006, after explaining to them the whys, though I think, after listening to their remarks and comments about it, I should remind the reasons every now and again. So, since they were weaned, they haven’t been addicted to it. As for me, I have to say that my hijrah from watching TV to watching no TV has been somewhat like a rollercoaster, and looking back, I think it is because there was a TV sitting in the living room. It also doesn’t help that someone in the house keeps turning it on. It really did a number on me, and subhanallah, that hijrah, personally, hasn’t been easy.

I made my point pretty clear: we’re not going to have any TV in the new home. Alhamdulillah for a pretty flexible husband. I don’t think it was easy for hubby either, and I sensed a rebellious streak in the beginning, but I also sensed somewhat of a blessing from Allah in all of this. Having Baby Z helps too. Helps in convincing hubby that we don’t need a TV in the house.

However, I was also aware that Shaytaan works in mysterious ways, in ways that we can easily overlook. The seven steps through which Shaytaan attacks us is deep rooted in my mind, thanks to Muhammad Alshareef’s When Wolves Become Shepherds. Shaytaan never gives up, ever. I realize this. And once, from the virtual influence of something as sinister, I was temporarily sucked into a different kind of TV; via the internet. I felt so guilty, so sinful, that I made dua for Allah to forgive me, and to make me strong. I fought the desire, and alhamdulillah, I think now, I’m safe. Alhamdulillah. Of course, the battle is just getting more heated. It’s not over. Not until the moment of my death.

Now, I’m not out to say that everyone should unplug their stupid boxes in their homes and dump them in the trash. I’m just talking about my own personal, well, a family affair now, hijrah here. For me, the few second commercials rife of almost naked and alluring women, subliminal messages of rafath, and a lifestyle of evil are the most harmful of all. The TV has its good and bad, but just like alcohol, I think its harm outweighs its good.

When someone in town found out we don’t have TV in the house, they were surprised. Well, I told them we don’t have TV in the house. What they found out was that my son told their son that he’s not allowed to watch TV, play video games, or watch movies. Makes me sound like someone they should be wary of, doesn’t it? I don’t blame them if they think so.

A sister also offered us her TV, as she was moving. When hubby told her I don’t like it, she simply laughed it off. The next time I met her, she asked me again. I politely declined, without offering further explanations. Some things are better just left unexplained, if explaining it would only cause more controversy. I’m learning to withhold myself now, saying some things only when I deem it the right time and place.

Yes, I am aware that living without TV in these days is common now, because we have the internet. That’s what I meant when I talekd about Shaytaan working in mysterious ways. And that, I have no doubt, will be our fitnah. May Allah protect us from it. Ameen.

This is one of those things, just like homeschooling, that sets me further apart from the mainstream Muslims. I have to admit that at times, I begin to doubt myself.

Maybe I’m being too strict. Loosen up!

But then, I look at my children, and I look at how they have grown up to be so far. I can’t ruin that.

Islam began as something strange. It will end as something strange. People may hurl accusations, labels and hurtful words at me for this. People may even make me feel horrible for doing this, saying I’m going overboard, that in this era, we need to be balanced, that we need to ‘fit in’ and ‘integrate’. Believe me, I’m not trying to be rebellious. I’m not trying to set myself apart. If that happens, then it’s a result, but it’s not my intention. My intention is for my personal improvement. Different people have different problems, different strengths and different weaknesses. And we all have our own pace at which we move forward or backward. I only ask that Allah accepts this of me, and that I’m doing something which pleases Him, for it is His pleasure I seek.

I am aware this is not easy to live with. Within the family, we’re fine, alhamdulillah. I don’t hear kids complaining of wanting to watch TV. Over the years, they have learned to occupy themselves with things to do, be it reading, arts and crafts, quarelling, baking cookies, or playing outside. I think they have pretty rich childhoods, thanks to no TV in the house.

I remember when they were smaller, I had taught them to press the mute button whenever songs come up in their cartoons. After a while, I grew lax and didn’t enforce it much, and I clearly remember that feeling of regret creeping all over me. Children, they are born with fitrah. It is us parents who shape them into who they are. When they were muting the songs, they were doing it as something normal. But when I taught them to mute the songs after letting them listen to the songs for a while, I noticed that they were more resistant. And oh, the regret I felt, was unbearable. I felt that I had failed as a Muslim parent. But alhamdulillah, human beings are pretty pliable. We bounce back.

I don’t really dare say much more, because Allah may very well test me through my children (Oh Allah, please do not test me through my children), but so far, I am content with them. Being a parent at any time and age is not easy. It never was easy.

Sometimes parents make decisions based on their upbringing, which can go either of two ways. Sometimes, we have parents who disagree with another parent’s decisions. Every parent wants what is best for her/his children. And every parent has his/her own opinions, reasoning behind his/her decisions. I don’t claim to be so confident with mine, that it is the absolute right thing to do, and the ’should’, but I do ask that Allah blesses all of us parents with guidance, for we need it the most in order to guide our progeny down the line.

It is only with His guidance that people are led aright. One may have grown up in a non practicing environment, but when Allah’s guidance enters his heart, he may be the best of Muslims among those who grew up in a highly practicing environment. One may have grown up in a highly practicing environment, yet, having lost Allah’s guidance, he might be the worst of people in a non practicing environment. Who are we then, to say that our way will definitely produce highly practicing Muslims? It is not in our hands alone.

That is the beauty of it all. It is not in our hands alone. The fact that it is not so is a constant reminder of our vulnerability, of our weakness, and of Allah’s power, might, and sole reign over the universe.

May Allah shower us all with guidance upon guidance and keep on it till the moment we return to Him. Ameen.